I signed my son up for story time yesterday. We used to come last year all the time. I thought nothing of it when I enrolled him. So here we are in the children’s room waiting for story time to start. The teacher asks “Everyone here for story time come line up at the door!” So he and I go hand and hand walking to the door. Then I notice something. None of the other parents are lining up. Then I hear the teachers saying that the parents stay upstairs as the children go downstairs. He looks at me, and I look at him. We stand there for three seconds as reality sinks in…we’re being separated!
I’m sure the look on my face is shock. I want to yell “but he has food allergies!” but I quickly grab a hold of myself. I approach one of the teachers and quietly ask if it’s okay if I go downstairs too because my son has severe food allergies. I’m sure she’s think I’m borderline crazy (could possibly be the look of terror I have on my face). She explains that parents are not allowed in the room and I can go downstairs and look through the window of the closed door if I would like.
After explaining my son’s allergies to the teacher, I stand there in the middle of the room as they walk away and I think “What if one of the other children had peanut butter sandwiches for lunch?”, “what if he starts coughing and having a reaction to SOMETHING and they don’t know what to do?”, “what if he is just as scared as I am at this very moment?” All of the “what ifs” go through my head. I am so used to being at my son’s side ‘just in case’ that I am in a state of shock.
Let me remind you that ALL of this happens within two minutes. When I finally snap out of it, no one is staring at me, no one finds my behavior odd, no one suspects a thing. All of this dialog that I’ve had in my head for the past two minutes is just that…all in my head. As I slowly walk towards the other section of the library I’m already convincing myself that he’ll be okay. I’m already reminding myself that I’ll be right here in the same building, just up the stairs.
As I walk towards the public computers ,already knowing that I MUST get to my blog ASAP to write down my feelings, another realization hits me. I’m free!!! Holy crap I have 45 uninterrupted, quiet time to myself…in a library! WOO HOO!!!! For those of you who don’t know me, a library is on my top ten list of my most favorite places to be…and now I get 45 minutes a week…ALL TO MYSELF!!!!
I wonder if everyone will be staring at me if I get up and do a little jig? hehehehehehe… well the looks on their faces sure would make a great picture to put at the top of this post…too bad I’m a wimp. 🙂
Ahhhhhhhh…I survived another day of being an allergy mom.
Easy Breezy Life
with food allergies and EoE